Waiting

I can see why many women want their pregnancy to be over.  For most I think it is impatience and being uncomfortable.  I'm not experiencing a lot of discomfort in my opinion even though I'm 37 weeks along.  Yes, I have to pee a lot in the middle of the night and I am not at all flexible.  But, I have no contractions that I can feel, I sleep well (thanks to a combination of my grandmother's inclining bed and a really thick memory foam mattress pad), and I'm not sore (unless I stand for a few hours trying to make dinner).  I have no reason for complaint and my body is fairly comfortable.  The baby kicks and rolls but that's not painful either just strange feeling. 

I think the hardest part for me is the weight gain.  With this baby weight I am almost 100 lbs beyond where my ideal weight is when not pregnant.  I don't want to gain any more weight.  I thought I was okay with it but apparently not.  My doctor says I have gained the right amount of weight but that now I'm starting to retain water.  My face shows it too.  How selfish am I to want to have my pregnancy over with because I might gain more weight? 

I might also be afraid of labor, the unknown.  I don't know how my body will behave and that scares me too.  I tend to want to get things over with if I don't know the outcome.  It makes me less afraid because I have less time to think.  But, no date is set in stone so I can't not think about it.  Dwelling is the hardest part for me.